My wife often tells me, that I have to show my passion, that if I love something, whether it be writing, or making YouTube videos, or Doctor Who, that I should approach things with ‘gusto’, with, well, with a passion. Apparently, showing such passion endears me to people.
She is right of course; there is something about a passionate man which is endearing even sexy, in the right hands, even trainspotting can be made sexy…maybe.
The thing is, having a physical disability makes displaying such passion difficult. It is physically exhausting. To have to physically display the fact that one is enthused on such a topic, often for hours at a time is difficult for a man, that even on the best of days, can barely stand. It just takes too much physical effort. But if you begin to talk and attempt to convince someone of you case, and then stop, people take it as an insult, rather than what it truly is – pure tiredness and nothing more.
Why do always expect ‘the passionate man’ to come in such a fixed form? He will be loud, overbearing maybe, and perhaps even a bit of a bully – people will call such man ‘a character’. Why is that the form though, that ‘passion’ can come in – because what is often sacrificed in such man is the virtue of attentiveness, care and yes, slowless – something that my disability presupposes me to display often.
I shall always fight my corner, argue my point, why, because I do it through blogs instead of in conversation, am I considered ‘distant’ and ‘passionless’?